The elusive search for happiness

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Happiness can seem very elusive. The more we chase it, the further away it gets. Some people would say that it is misguided to try to achieve happiness. And in a sense they are right. Happiness means different things to different people. The specifics of happiness vary from culture to culture, person to person.

If you would like to get your life set and on track and wouldlike personalised expert advice from an experienced coach and therapist, read on.

You can get a personal one-on-one with me where we will work together to:

• Clarify your vision for your life
• Identify key milestones to achieve it
• Uncover hidden challenges that could be holding you back
• Develop a long term action plan
• Identify the next immediate step
• Leave feeling inspired and energised<

Making Happiness Last

Earlier in 2007 I attended a seminar by Professor Jeffrey Kottler. Jeffrey Kottler is one of those amazing people with seemingly phenomenal energy and boundless enthusiasm. Every time he develops an interest in a particular topic, he writes a book. To date he has authored seventy books. Not a bad record.

The topic of his seminar was Making Changes Last and one of the reasons I attended was to see what could be applied to happiness. Of the many interesting stories Prof Kottler told relating to change, the one that sticks with me is a story about his own life.

He was visiting Nepal with a group of his post-graduate students. One of them was a gynaecologist who was researching the causes of the high rate of maternal death in childbirth in Nepal. Interestingly, this turned out to have little to do with the availability or otherwise of appropriate medical care and much to do with the attitude of the mother-in-law. If the mother-in-law approved of Western medicine and the possibility of her daughter-in-law being examined by a male doctor, the chance of the mother giving birth safely were much higher.

This research led to further exploration of what was happening to so many young girls. Because of the grinding poverty, many parents were selling their young girls because they could no longer afford to keep them in school. Many of these girls ended up in prostitution.

Jeffrey was curious about how much it cost to keep a girl in school for a year. A lot of money, he was told. She has to have a uniform, books, school fees, food, one meal a day, in some cases travel expenses. This comes to $50 a year! Jeffrey pulled out his wallet and peeled off two twenties and a ten.

That simple response was the start of a project to grow a new generation of women doctors for Nepal so that for future mothers, the incidence of death in childbirth could be significantly reduced. Jeffrey and his post-graduate therapist students started with supporting one girl for a year. Now they are supporting 43 girls and young women through school and medical college so that they can be part of the future health care system in Nepal. Jeffrey has an ongoing commitment to organize an annual visit to Nepal for his current batch of post-graduates as part of their professional development experience.

This story reminded me of the parable of the tiny mustard seed that can grow into a giant mustard tree, creating lasting change. (Try googling mustard tree pictures for some imgaes of impressive mustard trees.)

The story also reminded me of the importance of support in maintaining change. The parents needed support to keep their daughters in school. The nation needs support in educating a team of women doctors. Kottler needs the support of his students to keep the project going and they need the support of the professional experience they gain in Nepal to make them more compassionate, insightful and innovative therapists.

How often do we feel inspired to make some significant positive change in our lives but fail to develop enough momentum to carry it through to a successful conclusion? Life happens and circumstances overwhelm us.

This is where a coach or counsellor can assist by helping us to get really clear on what is most important to us in our lives or business right now and in the longer term, and holding us accountable for developing the action plans and taking the steps that will lead us to accomplishing our goals.

And if you decide that coaching might be useful for you, why not start by asking yourself:

- What is the single most important thing in my life right now that I could change that would give me greater peace of mind?
- What would I have to do to make this change happen?
- What stands in the way of me making this change?
- What support would I need for this change to be successfully maintained?

Dr Justus H Lewis, PhD is a consultant, coach and therapist who helps people who struggle to find greater happiness in their lives but are uncertain where to start.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead, Anthropologist

 

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